"Weird Al" Yankovic - Amish paradise

As I ^G#walk through the valley where I ^Fmharvest my grain I take a ^Glook at my wife and real^Cmize she's very plain But t^G#hat's just perfect for an ^FmAmish like me You know I ^Gshun fancy things like e^Cmlectricity At ^G#4:30 in the morning I'm m^Fmilkin' cows ^GJebediah feeds the chickens and ^CmJacob plows fool And ^G#I've been milkin' and ^Fmplowin' so long that ^GEven Ezekiel thinks that my ^Cmmind is gone I'm a^G# man of the land, I'm ^Fminto discipline Got a ^GBible in my hand and a ^Cmbeard on my chin But if I ^G#finish all of my chores and ^Fmyou finish thine Then ^Gtonight we're gonna party like it's 1^Cm699

^G# We been spending ^Fmmost our lives living i^Gn an Amish p^Cmaradise ^G# I've churned butter ^Fmonce or twice living ^Gin an Amish ^Cmparadise ^G# It's hard work and^Fm sacrifice living ^Gin an Amish ^Cmparadise ^G# We sell quilts at ^Fmdiscount price living^G in an Amish p^Cmaradise

A l^G#ocal boy kicked me in the ^Fmbutt last week I just s^Gmiled at him and I t^Cmurned the other cheek I r^G#eally don't care, in fact I ^Fmwish him well 'Cause I'll be l^Gaughing my head off when he's b^Cmurning in Hell But I ^G#ain't never punched a tourist even ^Fmif he deserved it An A^Gmish with a 'tude? You ^Cmknow that's unheard of I n^G#ever wear buttons but I g^Fmot a cool hat And my ^Ghomies agree I really l^Cmook good in black fool ^G#If you come to visit, you'll be ^Fmbored to tears We haven't ^Geven paid the phone bill in ^Cm300 years But we ^G#ain't really quaint, so ^Fmplease don't point and stare We're ^Gjust technologically ^C#impaired

There's no^G# phone, no lights, no ^Fmmotorcar not a ^Gsingle lux^Cmury Like ^G#Robinson C^Fmaruso it's as p^Grimitive as can ^Cmbe

^G# We been spending ^Fmmost our lives living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise ^G# We're just plain and^Fm simple guys living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise ^G# There's no time for ^Fmsin and vice living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise ^G# We don't fight, we all play ^Fmnice living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise

^G#Hitchin' up the buggy, ^Fmchurnin' lots of butter ^GRaised a barn on Monday, s^Cmoon I'll raise an 'utter ^G#Think you're really righteous? ^FmThink you're pure in heart? Well, I ^Gknow I'm a million time as ^Cmhumble as thou art ^G#I'm the pious guy the little ^FmAmlettes want to be like On my k^Gnees day and night scorin' p^Cmoints for the afterlife ^G#So don't be vain and do^Fmn't be whiny Or else, ^Gmy brother, I might have to get m^Cmedieval on your heinie

^G# We been spending ^Fmmost our lives living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise ^G# We're all crazy Menno^Fmnites living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise ^G# There's no cops or ^Fmtraffic lights living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise ^G# But you'd probably t^Fmhink it bites living ^Gin an Amish ^CmParadise

^G#Ahh-ahh-^Fmahh-ahh-^Gahh-^Cmahh ^G#Ahh-ahh-a^Fmhh-ahh-a^Ghh-ahh-y^Cmecch!