^DmThe daily ^Bbpress is here to ^Ameet my b^Bmoat ^{A Dm}There simply a^Dbre no w^Cords, an^Fd you may q^Eu....ote ^GmAmerica, your ^Dmwait is th^Dbrough! ^GmAt this, my new ^FNew York deb^Cut ^BbI cannot wait to ^Ere-instate my sh^Aop Back ^Dbon top!

^Dm Why^Db it's wicked, you opening up your new ^Bbsalon right down the street from E^Clizab-

WE DON'T ^DmSPEAK-A THAT NAME! That ^Dbname is verboten.

From th^Dme 'American Beauty ^CRose'? (narrated) You know what ^Bbevery garden needs, Ha^Dmrry? A little wa^Bmndering ^BbJew ^F

^DmThe sad fact i^Gms that Euro^Epe's g^Aone in^Dmsane ^{E A Dm}To add to th^Cis, I have such family st^Gmrai....^Eb.n ^GbMy sons don't call, my husband cheats Now they can ^Bmpay their own re^Dmceipts ^BmI'm ^Eback ... ^Aon ... ^Bmtop! ^Dm

^GmUp high ^{Eb Gm Bb Gm}In Bauhaus l^Dbette^Cring am^{A Dm A A}So modern you could die! ^EThe stainless steel, ^Ebchic de^Abmcor ^BmBlack terrazzo ^Dbon the floor ^CTop to bottom gl^Bmamour ^AI sup^Bmply ^BbRight? ^{Db A}

^DmThe lucky thing bef^Eore the ^CWall Street ^Dmcrash ^{Db Dm}My int^Auition ^Ctold me, '^Ftake the c^Gmaa...^Ebaa...sh!' ^DmSo I sold out, ^Gm made a ^Dbmint ^GbBut I like ^Bbmore my name in ^Dmprint ^GmRight back ^Bmon ^Ebtop! ^{Bm Dm Gm}

The ^Ebskin ^Gm I chart from ^Bbhairline ^Gbdown to c^Ahin ^{F A Gb}Find out which g^Aroup you're in: The normal, dry, or ^Eboily ^Czone ^BmFlaky, dry, or bl^Eemish-prone ^CBeauty, science ^GbLike it's n^Bme...^F..v^Eer ^Bbbeen!

^GbThe face of progress ^Aovertakes the p^Ebast ^{Db Bm Bb Gb}The constant change of ^Alife comes f^Gmierce and ^Abmfast ^Db And ^Abmspeaking ^Eof your ^Fchange of life: Your men won't ^Gbseek a you^Dbnger wife With^Abm epidermal fi^Frming cr^Dbme ^DbYour timeless youth will dazzle them A ^Abmmonth from now they'll ^Fstand in line And ^Ebdammit! You'l^Gbl see Rubin^Abmstein is ^Dbback ^{Bb Db}on ^{Bb F}

^AI'm back! ^BbOoo^Eboooo^Gbon! ^AbmToooo^Ebooo^Gbooo^Aooo^Eboooo^Gboooo^Gmop! ^ERight? ^{Gm Eb}