I know what's gonna h^Aappen I'll try to go to ^Ebed With fear of failure f^Elapping Like a fruit bat in my ^Ahead

I'll sleep for half an ^Ahour The clock will ring at s^Eix I'll wake up in the s^Ehower with a stomach full of b^Aricks So I won't have any b^Dreakfast Maybe just a little ^Atea Like when you have to ^Ego And get a colonosco^Apy Which incidentally isn't ^Dhalf As disconcerting or ups^Aetting As going for a ^Epart you know There is no way that you're g^Aetting

But anyway I'm ^Aheading Downtown for the aud^Eition Where everything I'm dr^Eeading Will be coming to fru^Aition And here's what's gonna h^Aappen I'll walk in weak with h^Eunger And there's a dozen g^Eirls Who look like me but ten years y^Aounger

I'll go into the ^Dbathroom And I'll try to vocal^Aize And I'll be singing "m^Einga-minga-minga-minga-m^Aing" But I'll be hearing Sandy su^Dcks She really sucks, she really, ^Areally, really b^Elows And she's o^Eld, and she's l^Eame And then s^Eomeone calls my name

And here's what ^Ahappens I'll walk into the r^Eoom The gross fluorescent ^Elighting is inviting as a t^Aomb And everybody sm^Ailes They'll say its good to ^Esee ya But all I see is ju^Edges And they'll all look like Scal^Aia

And then a little b^Danter as they look me up and ^Adown And somewhere through the ^Efog of insecurity and ^Ahate I'll try to convince them that I'm ^Dcharming And I'm clever and I'm ^Afun to have a^Eround But I'm st^Earting to unr^Eavel In my h^Eead I hear the gavel

^F#Guilty! They're gonna throw the book at me 'cuz I'm ^F#Guilty!

^F#Guilty! Of almost every other showbiz crime Not ^Gyoung enough! Not ^Gthin enough! Not ^Gpretty enough! Not ^Ggood enough!

But wait now someone's ^Aasking So can we hear your v^Eoice? I make a lame at^Etempt at humor: Do I have a ch^Aoice? I nod at the p^Aianist He's always wearing ^Eblack He's always in a t^Eurtleneck With dandruff on his ^Aback

No sooner do I g^Det my note And open up my ^Atrap Then inevitably some m^Eealy-mouthed assistant director's ^AThumbs are all over his iPhone And I ^Dknow he's probably tweeting LO^AL, This girl is c^Erap She's a f^Eake She's a p^Ehony She could n^Eever win a Tony

And ^Enow I'm in a place I know quite ^Awell I've ^Eleft the world, and I've entered ^Ahell I'm t^Ahis far away from a fainting spell

But ^Ejust before I ^Adie (CAPO II)

I ^Efinish a song Which I overs^Aell Somebody says th^Eanks And wishes me ^Awell The n^Aext thing I know I'm at T^Aaco Bell ^EStuffing my face with ^Ameat

I'm trying to take it s^Alowly I'm trying to be my ^Ebest I'm trying to be more ^Eholy Less bitter and depr^Aessed I'm reading Eckhart T^Aolle He makes a lot of s^Eense I bought a Buddhist ^Ebowl He says he it helps you be less t^Aense

It doesn't do a t^Dhing for me I sit there on the f^Aloor And watch a vivid ^Esequence Of humiliating i^Anstances from my past go by And t^Dhink what kind of masochist Keeps c^Aoming back for ^Emore When she k^Enows what's gonna happen 'Cuz it n^Eever doesn't happen 'Cuz it ^Ealways, always

No! I know what's gonna ^Ahappen Don't tell me that I d^Eon't And don't say that I'll ^Erise to The occasion 'cuz I ^Awon't

And don't say I've got t^Aalent And don't say I've got h^Eeart And don't say that I'm c^Elever 'Cuz I know I'm pretty s^Amart I'm smart enough to ^Dknow That I'm too stupid to ad^Amit You can't survive a ^Ediet That consists of eating ^Ashit The trick is knowing w^Dhen it's time to pack your bags And s^Aay "that's ^Eit!"

You k^Enow what's gonna happen I k^Enow what's gonna happen ^EHere's what's gonna happen I q^Auit! I q^Auit! I q^Auit!