^CHave they all gone? ^CYes! It’s Neil’s turn No more ^F7writers to whine ^F7Now the whole show is mine ^F7No more Nathan ^F7With his bean dip ^F7Say goodnight, Frankenstein ^F7‘Cause it’s my turn to shine ^AbI can do all of their ^Gjobs ^AbI can just play with these ^Gknobs ^F7And I’ll sound fine

^CIt’s a one-man ^CLike Hal Holbrook Like that s^F7howcase for Liza ^F7It’s "Neil with an I" ^CHey Felicia ^CYou were great, kid ^F7But you just had to die ^F7‘Cause there’s no "Team" in "I" ^AbI’ll sing my own harmo^Gnies ^AbI’ll go as low as I ^Gplease ^Fmaj7Or I’ll go high

^FWelcome everybody t^Bbo my commentary ^FI’ve got so much talent ^Bbit’s a little scary ^F7Is my every random thought ^Bbinsightful - very! ^F7Not just entertaining; ^EmI’m luminary

I’ll charm the c^Amhicks ^AmAre those things real? Ha! ^AmDo magic tricks ^AmWas it the Three of Clubs? Ho! Lay down some ^Abtap And I can ^Grap

N.C.

My name is Neil and I’m here to say-

No I ^F7can’t ^Crap That was ^F7pain^Cful Let’s move ^F7on the the part Where I ^F7talk about art Look at ^F7that shot ^F7We used cameras ^F7There’s a boom guy in frame ^F7He was great - What’s his name?

What was his ^Amname? ^AmWhat should I say? ^AmThe choices are endless ^AbAnd here I am at last, alone, and friendless ^F7No I’m not friendless I’ve got some f^Abriends They’ll be here when this ^Bbends If this ^Bends What do I ^Bsay ^EbWhat does this switch do? It turns out the lights Now it’s ^Bbdark and I’m lost and alone ^G7And what’s with all these ^Bbmchords? What’s with all these ^Abweird chords? ^FSomebody help ^FSomebody say cut ^FSomebody say action ^FSomebody say something ^FI’m so afraid ^FSomebody say cut ^FI’m so alone-