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Tuning: E A D G B E
[Verse] [BETELGEUSE]
You could use a Fbuddy-- Don't you want a Bbpal? (Yes I do! Yes I do!) Girl, the way I Gmsee it Your daddy should be Cleavin' And you should stick Faround!

N.C.

(And kill him!)
[LYDIA]

N.C.

What? [Pre-chorus] [BETELGEUSE]

N.C.

Nothing So, CLydia, don't Bbend yourself DeBbmfend yourself FDaddy is the one you should Abmaim Together we'll Fexterminate, Bbmassassinate
[LYDIA]

N.C.

No! [Chorus] [BETELGEUSE]

N.C.

The finer points can wait But F#first you gotta say myF name! Go ahead and Bbmjump but that won't stop him Here you got a F#solid plan B option I can bring your C#daddy so much pain All you gotta Abdo is say my name! Girl, just say it Bbmthree times in a row Then you won't F#believe how far I'll go I'm on the Ebmbench, but coach Just put me in the Bb7game All you gotta do is say my Bbmname
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

I don't know your name [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Well, I can't SAY it
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

How 'bout a game of charades? [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes, let's play it
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Two words [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Right
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Second word [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Uh-huh
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Drink? [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

No
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Beverage? [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

No
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Wine? [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

No
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Juice? [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes!
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Okay

N.C.

First word
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Okay [LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Bug?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

No [LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Ant?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Close, but no [LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Beetle?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes! [LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Betelgeuse?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Wow, I'm impressed

N.C.

And all you gotta do is say my name three times

N.C.

Three times in a row it must be spoken

N.C.

Unbroken

N.C.

Ready?
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Yeah [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Okay, go...
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Betelgeuse... [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Betelgeuse... [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeee.... [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good-
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

-cause [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

What?
[Verse] [LYDIA]
EbYou're so smart A stand up bro I'll Abthink about your offer Let you know But I Cmprefer my chances down below Oh, Betelgeuse
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes! [LYDIA]

N.C.

Betelgeuse
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Yes! [Verse] [LYDIA] Being young and female doesn't Ebmean that I'm an easy mark I've been Abswimming with piranhas I don't need a shark CmYes, life sucks But not that much Ok, Betelgeuse Betelgeuse EbBe a doll and spare the Ablecture [Bridge] [BETELGEUSE] I'm offering you a full-time Bbspectre
[LYDIA]
BbAre you any good? [BETELGEUSE] You Abbet'cha Trust me, baby!
[LYDIA]
I just Ebmet ya Really it's a flattering oGmffeCmr
[BETELGEUSE]
Don't you wanna see Dad Bb7suffer? [LYDIA] I think EbI'd rather Ebjust jump Bboff
[BETELGEUSE]

N.C.

No! [LYDIA] I may be Bbsuicidal But BbBetelgeuse, it's not as if I've Ablost myBb7 mind
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] So Playing hardball, huh? You are tougher than you look [LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with

N.C.

Got any references?
[BARBARA, spoken]

N.C.

Lydia, there you are! [ADAM, spoken]

N.C.

Are you alright?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

A-Dog, B-Town, my old pals! [ADAM, spoken]

N.C.

Get away from her!

N.C.

Lydia, this is a dangerously unstable individual
[BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM] [BARBARA]

N.C.

Betelgeuse is sexy! [ADAM]

N.C.

Betelgeuse is smart!
[BARBARA & ADAM] BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
GHe can help We found him on Yelp Our Dtroubles all landed on the day that we befriended him F#Every word is the truth GBetelgeuse,A Betelgeuse,D Betelgeuse!
[BARBARA, spoken]

N.C.

What the heck was that? [ADAM, spoken]

N.C.

So violating!
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

There you go, kid. Couple of five-star reviews [LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

What was that?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

That was possession

N.C.

Any ghost can do that in less than one lesson
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Any ghost? [BETELGEUSE, spoken]

N.C.

Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

Then, Betelgeuse, what do I need you for? [BETELGEUSE]

N.C.

Woah, woah, woah woah woah! Hold up- hold up, girl, GI'm your pal They're Dsweet, but I'm a demon straight from Hell I Cknow, I went a little hard on the sell But we're CmBF-F-F-F's forever!
[BETELGEUSE gets pushed off the roof of the house by LYDIA]

N.C.

Agh! [ADAM AND BARBARA, spoken] Lydia!
[LYDIA, spoken]

N.C.

What? He was already dead

N.C.

And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff
[Chorus] [sung]
CWe don't need that demon CThe three of us alone can wreck dad's evening GTogether we can make a grown man weep DGuys, I got a dinner date to keep
[ADAM, spoken]

N.C.

Okay, so what's the plan? [LYDIA (WITH ADAM & BARBARA)] CTeach dad a lesson CHe's gonna freak when we possess him CSo he wants the perfect daughter CmI'll lead that lamb to slaughter CmYeah, I got game! EmI'm gonna make him say my name (Make him say your name) EmI'll make him say my name (Make him say your name) CI'll make him say my name (Make him say your name) CmNot running away! EmI'll make him say my name!