Bo Burnham - Lower your expectations

^EYou want a guy that's sweet ^C#mA guy that's tough ^C#mA feminist who likes to pay for stuff ^AThe kinda guy that gets along with your friends ^BWithout being attracted to any of them ^EA good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy ^C#mA half good half bad half boy ^ALoves your brother sensitive but not weak and ^BIs a great lover calls your mother on the weekend ^EThen you might think tha^At this guy only exists in your m^C#mind Well guess what ^BYou're right

^EIf you want love ^C#mLower your expectations a few ^ACause Prince Charming would never settle^B for you ^EIf you want love ^C#mJust pick a guy and love him ^AAnd if he's got a thing for feet ^BSay fuck it, sweep me off them

^EYou want a girl that's nice ^C#mA girl that's not ^C#mObsessed with her looks but is insanely hot ^AThe kinda girl that you can show to your folks ^BLoves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes ^EA real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl ^C#mA brand new really hot real doll ^AWants to impress you doesn't care if you notice ^BAnd only ever uses you to tickle her throat with

^EThen you might think that this g^Airl only exists in your ^C#mmind ^BShe's real But last week She died

^EIf you want love ^C#mLower your expectations a lot ^AYou might think your dick is a gift I promise it^B's not ^EIf you want love

^C#mJust pick a girl and love her ^AThen whip out your dick and let the ^BGirl you love decline the offer

^EI don't want a neat freak I don't want a slob ^C#mOr somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job ^ACause I won't settle for less ^BThan perfect ^EWant perfect children, a perfect life ^C#mPerfect husband or a perfect wife ^ABut deep down I know ^BI don't deserve it

^EWe all deserve love ^C#mEven on the days when we aren't our best ^ACause we all suck ^BBut love can make us suck less ^EWe all deserve love ^C#mIt's the very best part of being alive ^AAnd I would know ^BI'm almost twenty five