^EFreshman year ^EI didn't have a girlfriend or a clue ^EI was a loser just like you ^EGood times would ^Aonly ^Gsoar by ^EI was gross ^EAs every female would attest ^EMy sexting was a futile quest ^EMy little penis was depressed ^EHe was so ^Alonely ^APoor ^Eguy I was ^F#hopeless, hopeless ^F#I was helpless, helpless Every ^Atime I'd walk the hallway I would ^Gtrip ^GI was ^BStagnant and idle ^BI was ^C#mSo suicidal ^BAnd then ^BThen, then ^BThen, then ^BThen, then ^BThen, then ^BThen, then ^BThen, then I got a ^ESquip

^AIt's from ^EJapan ^EIt's a ^F#gray, oblong pill ^CQuantum nano-technology ^ACPU The ^Equantum computer in the pill will ^F#travel through your blood until ^CIt implants in ^Gyour brain and it tells you what to ^Ado ^AIt's from ^EJapan ^EIt's a ^F#gray, oblong pill ^CQuantum nano-technology ^ACPU The ^Equantum computer in the pill will ^F#travel through your blood until ^CIt implants in ^Gyour brain and it tells you what to ^Ado ^AIt tells you what to do ^AIt's ^Bpreprogrammed (Ohhhhh) ^BIt's amazing (Ohhhhh) ^CSpeaks to you ^Ddirectly (Ohhhhh Ah ah) ^AYou behave as (Ohhhhh) ^BIt's appraising (Ohhhhh) ^CHelps you act correctly ^D(Ohhhhh) ^EHelps you to ^F#be cool ^AIt helps ^Cyou ^Erule

^EPicture this: ^ENobody cares if you are late ^E'Cause even teachers think you're great ^EYour weekend's just a full on slate of blowout ^Abenders Of teenage rock^Estar splendor ^ERight now you're ^F#Helpless, helpless ^F#You are ^F#Almost hopeless ^F#On the ^Aschool's social map you're just a blip ^BBut if you Take my advice and if you ^C#mpay the listed price Well, then you ^F#go from sad to interesting To ^Ahip - Your whole life will flip! ^BWhen you buy a ^ESquip!

^EHey, yeah, a Squip! ^C#m(Ahhh,^C ahhhh) ^EOh, a Squip (Ah^C#mhh, a^Chhhh) ^EHey, yeah! (Ah^C#mhh, ahh^Chh) ^BNo longer a ^Edrip when you got in ^Cyour grip ^CA Squip ^DA Squip ^EA Squip (A^F#h, ah^G, ah^E, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)